“All good things must eventually come to an end” When it comes to our lives, it is so true. Have you become so hopeless just to come out from the biggest storm of your life that is called “breakup”? To be honest, Move on from a serious relationship isn’t easy. But, if you want to move on, let’s do it, however.
Being in a relationship is great. Loneliness rarely sets in, because you always have someone to spend the day with or talk to when you need to vent. Experiencing new things, seeing plays, going to concerts together, exploring new restaurants and shops together, are so funny and awesome. Being in a relationship sounds great.
But, in the reality, relationships are not bulletproof. There may be lots of arguments about trivial nonsense. Actually, relationships are complicated and so stressful. So, failure is a great possibility. But, no one who is happy in their relationship wants it to end. As we mentioned earlier, all good things must eventually come to an end. So, your serious relationship too.
Especially, when it comes to a serious relationship, dealing up with the breakup and move on enduring that always seems tough. Most people may have experienced a breakup at least once in their lifetime. So, me too. To be honest, I faced a three-year breakup and now I have moved a great extent from it. Hopefully, the following information will helpful to you to move on from your serious relationship, parallel to me.
- Accept the truth
- Let them go slowly
- Learn from the broken relationship
- Reduce contact with him/ her
- Work or learn something new
- Do workouts
- Go on a vacation
- Change your life
- meet new people
- Love yourself more
Accept the truth
Though you were in a serious relationship, it is over. In fact, the sooner you accept the truth the sooner you can move on with your new life. There are many things that can act as a catalyst in ending a relationship. It doesn’t matter where the relationship went wrong. You will only drive yourself crazed trying to rework the timeline aiming to pin down the exact moment in which everything fell apart.
Take a deep breath and accept the truth. Actually, this is the hardest step for most people, including me. You may try to get the person back, but let it go. The quicker you accept the truth, the quicker you will get over him or her and start to move on.
Let them go slowly
Letting go of your serious relationship is actually like a war with inner feelings. Let him or her go is never easy. When you finally accept that it is time to say goodbye, it is like saying goodbye to a huge part of ourselves. Letting them go means, letting go of everything you have shared, Every fun memory, every inside joke, every photograph, and more things. Here are the best ways that you can let go of someone who loved you seriously.
Separating yourself from the person you loved seriously doesn’t mean that just putting physical space between the two of you. The separation must come with mentally and emotionally. Just imagine yourself as a distinct individual, separate from your now ex-partner’s desires and emotions. You can let him or her by reminding yourself that the journey involves you and no one else.
Make peace with the past
Maybe you are guilty because you weren’t a good partner and maybe you are still guilty about wanting to end the relationship. But, you must despite these feelings. Remind yourself that in the midst of love and longing and happiness. There is also a part of you that wants to and let yourself be let go of this person.
Letting go of a seriously loved one can be an afflicting experience. Moving forward is a self-imposed mission. As with all missions, you need to define yourself the reason that will motivate you to reach the end of your goal. There are a million different ways you could convince yourself to turn back and stay with that person.
So, instead, you need to translate your motivation for moving forward into repeatable, simple words as “I’m moving on because I don’t think partner and I have the same goals in life” “I’m moving on because I don’t deserve to love an abusive partner” and so on. Expressing your motivation to move forward will help you move forward and stay focused so that you can successfully emerge from this experience.
Disconnecting yourself from the person you love means no longer imagining yourself with them. Whether it’s innocent comments about your future or sexy fantasies, any kind of imagination related to this person should stop. To really let go of someone, you have to give yourself the space to unlearn the person and become unfamiliar with them.
In fact, letting go of someone you love is conflicting because, on the one hand, you have invested so much love into this relationship that breaking up with your seriously loved person will feel like carving out a part of yourself. And on the other hand, you can understand that you crave freedom and independence. Just understand that your adventure didn’t begin with that one person and it is likely not going to stop there. So, let her or him go, slowly and start to learn from it.
Learn from the broken relationship
In order to be successful, you must have to get more and more experiences. With time, there is a day with no more pain. On that day, you will be able to take away lessons from the relationship. Honestly, it will take time. The finished serious relationship may teach you how to be open to love or how to trust someone your next time. Actually, don’t look at your relationship as a waste of time ending in heartbreak because there always a reason for everything.
Just look at the reason for your breakup. Sometimes it may be the failure of understanding what their partner wanted from the relationship. Most couples have this issue. Actually, men and women have different desires and they wanted different things. For instance, Male desires are not complicated, they are just misunderstood. And same, most of the women always need the attention, care, and protection from their life partners. So, just look at your past and your serious relationship, it will teach you how to behave in your new relationship.
Reduce contact with him/ her
Actually, this is a very important step to move on from a serious relationship. A wounded heart doesn’t need a constant reminder of the past, seeing them or keeping contacts with them will be like rubbing salt on your wound. So, in order to get over your serious relationship, reduce contact with that person at least during the initial healing period. Don’t let anything come near and fluster your wound. Avoid contacting this person and it will definitely help you to move on faster. You can follow “The no contact rule” in order to reduce the contact with him or her.
What is the No Contact Rule?
In short, the No Contact Rule is an unspoken rule that people have adopted as a way to cope with the loss of a relationship.
Actually, the relationship gives you time to grieve, keep your head straight, and consider your options.
In order to an effective No Contact Rule, you need to follow it to the letter. Here, you need to be honest with yourself. There are variations in the rule, but basically,
- Obviously No contact
- No phone calls
- No texts
- Does not follow his Facebook profile.
- No emails
- No comments on pictures he is tagged in on social media
- Do not fight through the old pictures that remind you of the past.
- Don’t go to the same places you went to together
- No showing up at the same parties
- No checking in with his friends
So, with these, you can reduce your contact with him or her. It is true, you may not able to do all the things at once and you may not able to follow all the No Contact Rules at once. But with time, you may able to reduce contact with him or her. So, be honest to yourself and focus your attention on moving on.
Work or learn something new
Actually, when you are moving from your serious relationship, you may feel missed something deeply. In order to avoid it, make sure to find something to and learn. You can watch movies, listen to an MP3 player, read a bunch of books, play lots of games while you are at the home. Or not, you can leave your house for a while and take your laptop with headphones and kindle, and chill at Barnes and Noble for the entire day.
Not only that, do something productive like writing, learning, playing an instrument, taking up a hobby, or learning a new language. Instead of doing unproductive things, focus on your mind to do a productive thing, that your identity can rebuild. So the more you can build a new identity or new you, the sooner you will get to be happy without your serious relationship.
Doing exercises is a good thing for your body as well as your mind. Actually, it has been proven to make you more focused and energized. Not only that, if you are already out of shape, exercising will help you shape up your body. So, you can get a desirable physical appearance. Further, they will help you to improve your health, reduce the risk of developing several diseases like cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. The most important fact is, doing exercise will help you to improve the quality of life. So, there is no need to make yourself weak in order to move on to a serious relationship, you can make yourself better by doing exercises.
Going a Vacation
If you are able to go on a vacation, don’t think twice and go on. Actually, changing your environment can change your self and it will reduce your grief. You can go on with your family or friends and it will be a great help to make and change your mindset.
Meet new people
It is true when you are in love with a person, your world might revolve around only him or her. You are focussing only on that person. It’s easy to get stuck in your head thinking about how difficult it is to go back to the “real world” without that person. But when you try to meet new people, it will remind you that it’s right. There is a whole world out of him or her and there may be lots of people are waiting for you. So, don’t stick in your past and try to meet new people and actually, they will help you to add a new value to your life. Now you have experiences with your serious relationship and you can consider them when you meet new people.
Change your life
This is so important. Just try to change your life. It means, almost anything and will differ from person to person, but one thing should always be done. Make sure to get rid of your ex’s stuff. Throw away the pictures, videos, presents, notes, etc. Or at least hide them away. Actually, if you are clinging to the past, you can not completely move forward. No matter how you have lived while you are in the relationship, completely change yourself.
Love yourself more
Even though you usually feel intense, it is easy to forget how you fell in love after breaking up your serious relationship. Serious relationships open with reminders of all the qualities that make you love and cherish. A crash especially one you haven’t started can all be questioned for you. You may have no idea how to love yourself after this relationship. You may not even know what “Love” means anymore. But you can always choose to practice your way into loving yourself.
Just start dedicating your time to challenge yourself to get busy. The truth is, when you are busier with that being your joy, the better you are going to feel. The more you feel, the more you remember who you are and what you love. When you start caring, automatically, you care about yourself and you start to love yourself more and more.
So, move on from a serious relationship is actually a time taking and as well as tough. It will take a lot of time and tears to move on. Always remember, though you follow the above steps, you may not able to move on at once. TIME IS THE BEST HEALER. This process needs time, so don’t rush it because you can’t. If you do it, it will only prolong the pain. Acknowledge that, you have a feeling like crying in your heart any day. But tell yourself it will end soon. Actually, the end of a serious relationship and moving on is so difficult. If you are overwhelmed with questions and emotions about how to proceed, know that it is normal to feel that way. It can all be consumed but it doesn’t have to be that way. Gradually, you can back to your life and feel good about yourself again.